Next month will be two years since I left you. Two years since that day I
called you and told you that I would not be coming back home to you. What a
long two years it has been. I was such a broken person back then.
Everything in my life fell apart after I left you. Everything. The floor
fell out from underneath me and I wondered sometimes if I was going to make
it. It's been a long, arduous ascent to a place that I can consider to be
normalcy.
I'd like to genuinely thank you for showing me who you were when you did.
You shouldn't have waited until after we got married but thank God you
didn't wait until after we'd had children. Thank you for showing me who you
were soon enough for me to get out of it and not make a complete mess of my
life and any other person's who might have come along into our little world
of hell. I'm grateful that you chose to no longer hide it. Well maybe you
just got tired. Four and a half years is a long time to be a hypocrite.
Thank you too, for showing me, for defining for me so acutely, so concisely,
and so precisely what I DO NOT want in a relationship. Ever. Ever again.
Thank you for being the exact opposite of everything I had ever hoped and
dreamed of in a marriage, and in a husband. Thank you too, for never truly
treating me as your wife and never giving me the rightful place I deserved
in your life. For placing me third or fourth on the totem pole of those
things deemed important in your life. I know it sounds like I'm being
sarcastic but honestly I'm not. I learnt so much from being with you. And
after I left you, I realised that I'd been given a second chance at
happiness. And I grabbed it.
I've done a lot of work on myself in these past two years. I've grown in
leaps and bounds and become the person I've always wanted to be. I'm the
most authentic I have ever been. More comfortable in my skin than I have
ever been. I look great. I feel great. And I am happy. Not everything is
perfect in my life. Some things are far from. But I can deal with them.
All in all, life is pretty good.
But the reason I'm really writing you this letter is to thank you for
preparing me for the one that I have now. He is, in short, everything I
have ever wanted and more. He is loving, and kind, and gentle and sweet and
adoring. He worships me and would do anything for me. And I love him. He
makes me a better person. He makes me want to be everything you tried to
force me to be. But with him it is effortless. But more importantly, he
doesn't need me to change a thing about myself. He loves me exactly as I
am. He delights in me. And he's proud of me. He's made it all better.
And for the first time in my life, I understand what it feels like to want
to have children with someone. And to want to grow old with someone. And
to not feel resigned to your future, but excited and full of hope and
optimism. I've met my true soul mate. And I want to thank you. For being
so wrong for me. Because if you hadn't been so wrong for me I might still
be with you. And I'd have missed my true calling. So I'm grateful for
everything you are and everything you did because you see...in the end it
was SO worth it.
Your soon to be Ex-Wife
