It's not me that scares you. It's the connection and the chemistry that scares you. Maybe it's just that you haven't felt it like that for a long time. Maybe it's just that you've never felt it like that... ever.
That Saturday we spent together was 110% magic, and I know you felt it too. That was probably the most intense, most incredible, most beautiful day of my life. I fell hard for you that day, and I'm certain you started to fall too, and that's what scared you.
You said the most incredibly romantic things to me... things I've wanted and needed to hear for a very long time. I don't understand how you could say those things to me, how you could look at me the way you did, kiss me and touch me the way you did, and less than two weeks later say that you didn't see see things working out. I don't understand how you could have made love to me the way you did if you didn't think that there was a chance of seeing me in your future.
You said I was smoky.
C eventually defined smoky for D. "Classy. Impressive. Sexy."
You said, "You're definitely smoky."
I said, "I am?"
You said, "Mmm hmm."
Three days later you said, "I don't see this working out. I can't do this right now. I need to take a couple steps back."
I understand your divorce isn't final yet, and I understand that it's going to take some time for you to get through it. Please... go... get your head straightened out... play a hell of a lot of golf this summer... go date some other women, and let them be your rebound relationships... but please, keep my numbers, keep my email address, and maybe, in the fall, reconsider your decision.
Just do this for me: please remember how you felt when you were with me. Remember how you said being with me made you feel more alive as a man than anyone had ever made you feel. Remember how it felt to stand in the exact same place for the better part of an hour, just kissing. Remember how it felt the moment you knew you wanted to kiss me the night you met me. Remember my hair falling onto my face and you brushing it away gently. Remember the red jacket and the boots, and the picnic on the living room floor, and falling asleep with your arms around me, my head on your chest.
Remember this.... you could feel that way all the time.
I'm not her. I would never treat you the way she did.
I'll be right here. You know where to find me.
