I know you'll never read this, because I know you never visit sites like this but I need to send this letter to someone because what has happened in the past three months is too much for me to take in on my own at the moment...
When you first start messaging me, I was a bit suspicious, I mean come on, a man twenty years my senior emailing me is a bit dodgy, but I decided to give you a chance because you seemed nice. What ensued was one of the most amazing friendships I have ever experienced in my life. You helped me through everything and you were my rock and I was glad that I could help you through your rough times. Although I had a boyfriend, I was falling for you. So when I broke up with him and you told me how you really felt, my heart jumped because I wanted us to be together... I really wanted us to work. But we always had our doubts, huh? The age difference, what would our families think. We organised several dates, but each cancelled several times because we were too scared.
Then one night, while we were chattin and both feelin a bit low, we set a date. For the Thursday, at the fountain in the mall. And I was so excited, I was finally getting to meet the man that had helped me through so much! And then you text me that day, tellin me u didn't wanna ruin the friendship so thought we shouldn't meet. I convinced you it was the right thing to do, and you turned up. I was so bloody nervous! I nearly turned around and walked away, but when I saw your face, I knew I had to stay because it was worth it. We had an amazing night, We had coffee and played bowling, then you brought me to dinner and drove me home. You held my hand and my face nearly cracked with the smile I had on. We sat talking in your car. Kissing, cuddling and it was such a good feeling. I didn't wanna leave.
So we organised a second date, you brought me to a play and we had a ball. Laughed together, held hands. People stared but we didn't care... on our way home, you asked me to stay with you that night and I said yes, no hesitation. I wish I didn't... because that night I fell in love with you... We sat watching tv in your apartment, cuddling, under a blanket and when one AM came, we went to bed, we cuddled up beside me and went to sleep. No sex, no touching, just kissing, cuddling and sleeping. Thats what made me fall for you...
The next morning you got up and made us breakfast. And we sat chatting on the sofa in our smalls, lol, I loved that. I felt so comfortable... first time for everything. Then we went back to bed and slept some more. We went to a farm and looked around. You brought your baby girl there... She's lovely by the way. I loved spending the day with her shopping with you. Even if it was short lived. And we went shopping on our own. I bought clothes for the first time ever when a man was with me... cos u said I looked pretty in them. You never got to see me wear them...Then you dropped me home... I saw you one last time... the day with your daughter and then you kinda disappeared. It was before xmas. I texted but got no replies. Then on new years day I got one. You had fallen for someone else, someone nearer your age and were dating her. You broke my heart into pieces
But I still love you, and always will. You're my soul mate. I want you so badly. But... I know it will never be..
