Congratulations, you are the only person in the world that scares me. And do you know why? You are the only person to beat me up and not stop even when I begged you. Do you feel proud? The abuser of a 7 year old girl? Well you shouldn't.
But don't worry about me, its not your fault that i dont trust being alone with men, my teachers, the parents of my friends family members i don't know that well. It's not their fault that they don't know why i won't hang around after class to talk a problem with my work with them unless someone else is around. And for the friends of mine that are guys? I still don't know how to deal with them, I'm afraid of getting into a relationship or over reacting when one comes to near.
My friends think I am paranoid because I jump when theres a loud noise near me or am sneaked up upon. But how do I tell them? They wouldn't get it, none of them would.
As for talking to my parents...they asked me so long ago if something happened, wanting to know the reason behind my soul deep hate for you, they knew I was lying when i said it was because you drank too much beer, thats never bothered me too much before. I can't face them, my mothers crying about not telling here half a life time before, my father's anger towards an evil he can't fully understand.
But don't worry about me too much, I have gotten through it once and will do again. But lately you haunt my dreams...I see you there all the time, i wake up crying and wanting to jump in my parents bed..but am I safe there?
But its ok, the mental pain will go, the same way the physical pain did. And you know what you are not going to fuck up my life, there are other people out there worse off to me. And you are not going to take my smile again, this is the last time you are going to make me cry, cry the way I am doing now, because its finished, over. I havn't seend you in about 8 years, I wont to keep it that way, i dont think i could take too meet you again. I should be telling you this in person, 8 years ago but the only people to see this won't know who I am or you are.
I hope you rot in hell, and that I was your first and last victim.
