I might be in love with you. Your girlfriend is my best friend, and while this may seem like a common situation, I just want to let you know: when she kisses you, she pretend it's YOUR best friend. Oh, what tangled webs we weave. All of our friends compete for your attention, and when you turn and talk to me, you have no idea how smug it makes me feel. Hah! I'm the one talking to you! Its actually repulsive how much you come up in conversation. Everyone I know thinks I'm so cool for hanging out with you. Almost every other girl I know has a crush on you. I have loved you since the minute I met you, that one night when you started going out with her. I acted like a bitch to you to hide the fact that I had fallen for a completely unavailable stranger.
That one night that I came over to your house piss drunk, that one night that I was hanging out with your brother, I did it all just to be close to you. And it worked. So I started getting more and more inebriated. And we started getting closer and closer, until an actual tangible friendship formed. People told me you were bad news, to stay away from you because you can't spend a minute of your time sober. I've learned that it's true. But I don't care. You're the only person I do drugs with alone, and I know I'm the only person you do it with alone. I'm so worried that I'm just your drug buddy, but I'll even be demoted to that just so I can be with you. God knows we have nothing else to talk about at this point- too much has changed.
I have a deep fear/hope that what everyone says will come true- you'll turn into some heroine addict living on the streets.
You were with me that night that I overdosed. You did nothing. Your friend, someone I had just met that night, was the one who sat with me to make sure I was ok when I cried in the fucking bathtub. I was in there for 45 minutes, and all you could say was "man, that sucks." and then when I just turned numb to my feelings, when I got to the point when I didn't care what happened to me, you just offered me more lines. I did nine lines at once, and all you could do was smile while everyone else said "slow down." After I got out of the mental hospital, everyone said how much they loved and missed me, and all you could say was "dude, we're partying this weekend." I could have killed you.
Remember when I asked you if I died, would you cry? You hesitated. You fucking hesitated.
You infuriate me, but what's worse is that I just keep coming back for more. I've lost friends because I can't manage to stay away from you. I love you and probably always will.
