it's been 2 weeks since we broke up; the year we spent together was a great one for me. i know you said that at the end the relationship had changed and that you just didn't feel the same way anymore. deep down i think i knew and felt it too but i always thought we'd have time to reconnect and go back to the way we were. i got rid of all our photos, all the messages, all the shared things and i've put away all your gifts because the memories are enough. i remember so many things from the beginning and i thought we were really great together. i see other couples and i wonder how they make it work...they seem to have much worse problems than we ever did - i guess it just goes to show that indifference is love's worst enemy.
every night before going to bed and every morning when i wake up, you're still my last & first thought. i reach for my phone to send you a message and just as i'm about to send it i realise that i shouldn't. you've moved on already and i have to do the same. as much as i keep thinking about how we can work things out, i know you've made up your mind. i guess this is just to say that i miss you, i miss knowing that you're thinking about me, i miss knowing that i can message or call you whenever i want and you'll answer, i miss being a part of your life, i miss having plans with you...i miss the future we could have had.
i hope things between us won't be awkward if/when we ever see each other again. i really don't want to lose you as a friend, as naive and unrealistic as that sounds, because that's what we were once.
thinking of you,
bubble cake
