i've always been afraid of doing one of these kind of things. what if he sees it? what if he sees it and tells me about it? the embarassment would be unbearable. because that's all you do - embarass me. You make me feel like shit for everything I do. Four years, I've put up with that. Four years or 'that's stupid' or 'why the hell do you think that'. Sorry, but not everyone can be as stoic and resolute and educated and realistic as you. Last week? When I told you it was 11:11 and asked you to wish? Remember that? And you said no? I wanted to cry. You have no idea the things I've wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you'd laugh at me for them. I know I'm not stupid, but talking to you makes me feel like the slime of the earth, and i need to let you know that.
why have i wasted four years on you? i love you. but i'm starting to think you see me as one big joke. and i won't take that kind of shit from anyone, you especially.
forever.
