I've just realized how much you love your work, and everything you've given up for it. Now i understand it all.
You love those children and you just want to help them, make them better persons, and i must admit you do a wonderful work.
I've seen the people you've helped, and they are very grateful and they admire you as much as anyone can admire another. You've changed their lives, you've guided them to the right path. You don't only teach them the necessary, you make make them feel loved and cared. Even in the hard times, when they just want to quit, you're there helping them and lending your shoulder to cry, even if they don't acknowledge what you've given them you're there, you're always there for them. And finally after 7 years I understand it, i understand you're living your dream, i understand that if there is someone in need you'll help them even if it is 2 in the morning because that's who you are. I get all that, I really do.
But that doesn't make it better. It just makes me feel like I'm not as important for you as your work, or any of those children. I've wished that for the past 7 years you would've helped me more, guided me through the right path, be the shoulder i could cry on when everything was going wrong. I've wished i could trust you more, i could admire you as much as those people do. I wish you could love me as much as your work. I wish you took some time off and stop worrying for at least one day. I wish you were more like dad. He knows me, he understands me, he always knows what want I to hear, he makes me laugh, he makes me feel loved. Now I've stopped wishing.
I see you and i feel you're so far away. The first step is difficult, i know it, but someone has to take it. So take this as the first step. Because even though you don't know me, i sure know who you are: you're my mom and i love you.
