Friday, April 3, 2009

The fellow I wrote off

Thank you. You were there with me through it all, every last bit of it. I never thought someone like you was possible, not in a million years. Then we didn't talk, and I met someone. I met the same asshole I always go for to suit my masochistic streak. I met the fellow I KNEW my mother would hate, and adored him for that reason. Every declaration of him "not being good enough," was only further proof in my eyes, that in fact...he was. Then you came back seemingly out of nowhere. I didn't know you had been in an accident, I would have been there for you.
After you came back, when you said you loved me....I was floored. What am I supposed to say to that? I know what I did say though, and I'm sorry. I turned you down, for a fellow I knew would never try a fraction as hard as you did. You tried to help me with that, and that is the most noble thing I could imagine. Then he just, refused to talk to me...and you were there. Not that there were many pieces to pick up, but you did it. Why? Why would anyone in their right mind fall in love with me in the first place? I'm old fashioned, and I refuse to express nearly all emotion. There's no reason for you to even LIKE me. I was fortunate to find out that apparently I cannot be bought. I know you tried that too, but I'm happy I said no. That means that now...I know that I like you, not the money. I could get used to you actually putting in effort. I may even grow accustomed to a bit of attention here and there. I almost wish I could tell you this, almost, but I'll save it for another day.

Your future...something, maybe.

PS...I still think you're liking me is certifiably insane, but what's the worst that can happen giving someone who does care about me a chance?

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