I know now why D left you. I still don't agree with the method, but Ifeel sorry for her. You are selfish. You spend all your timethinking about Zach, about what he wants, about what he needs. Younever think about me. Never do anything for me. I have given youeverything I could, and then some more. All the small things,touches, caresses, and the bigger things too.
You never gave me anything but heartache. You said you would never hurt me, that I could trust you. You knew how broken I already was. Yet still you selfishly told me you loved me, but didn't have time for a relationship. That's the biggest load of **** I have ever heard. Then you decided you would try. I told you then that you had better be sure, that I didn't want to be a yo-yo. I hate that my heart, and my mental state, rests in your thoughtless hands. At a whim you decide to drop me, and pick me back up, and I am helplessly along for the ride, because I love you and I need you- I need to know that SOMEONE loves me and cares for me. Even selfish Zach.
This time you dropped me because you 'can`t deal with a relationship right now'. Code for 'you can`t deal with ME'. I spent last night sobbing in the shower, waiting for you to call like you promised. Of course, you didn't call, because you're selfish. You didn`t consider me at all, didn`t consider that I was here not committing suicide for the mere hope that you would say again that you´ve reconsidered and want me back.
The most pathetic part is that, even though I´ve realized that you are poison, I would still take you back because I need you, I want you, and after and over everything else, I love you.
Please call me back. I need to hear your voice.
