Zach M.-

I don't love you. I know you're an ass. I know you're stupid. You are a loser. A nobody, a reject. So many things that are so WRONG about you. You've used me, abused me, threatened me. So why can't I stop thinking about you? Dreaming about you? Wishing you would approach me and talk to me. So stupid. I want it to stop. I want to stop thinking about you. I want to stop wanting you. I think I know why it is. You told me so many pretty lies, when I was so vulnerable, and I bought it all. I let myself reach that level of trust and happiness with you, and it was total crap. The same bullshit you sold to the next girl. I know that it's because you're messed up, and don't know what you're doing. It's still not excusable what you're doing. What you've done. I hate it, and I hate the power you still have over me.
I'll just make my list of reasons you're a loser.
-three time college fail-out
-girlfriend of 9 years dumped you and cheated on you- with good reason. You spent so much time pleasing yourself with your porn you couldn't get it up to please her!
-gambling addiction- serious debt.
-dead end job at Starbucks, in Hyvee. You're 28, and until recently lived with your parents. PAWN!
-did I mention failing college 3 times?
-unibrow!
-video games are the most exciting part of your day
-raging alcoholic
-do you have any real friends?
-angry drunk.
-called me a whore, crazy, bitch, and a slew of other things
-threatened me.
-STD`s anyone?
-you act like a 5 year old. Pout pout pout.
-lazy. you failed school because you were too busy playing video games and basketball. LOSER!

Thanks. That helped. I'm going to take my master's degree and loving, giving personality to someone who actually cares.
See you around, and hope you realize that you're going nowhere!

PS: I laughed a lot when a mutual acquantaince told me about the 18 year old (PERV!) you told "I love you" to after 4 dates. Did it sting when she laughed in your face? You don't know what love is, do you? Now I don't feel so bad.

Dear J.P.

I hate how much I fucking miss you. This sucks and hurts so much. I hate how I know what you're thinking, and how much I loved it when you caught me on my crap. I thought I was over this, but I know now that I'm not. I don't think I ever will be.

I hated how you turned your head that one time I saw you at school. I hated you for a while after that. I hate how we are able to fool ourselves at times, and try to make ourselves believe that we have moved on. I know now that our heart and mind work differently, and that I've become quite good at making myself think I can be just your friend.

This is why this sucks, because I know for sure that we will never work as friends. I think there is something that scares us, for me it's whether or not my family would accept you. I look at you and feel like I would never have anything to offer you. I feel ugly when I'm around you, and I hate thinking that you could do so much better. I don't think that we'll ever be friends. Just acquaintances. And you know what, people that connect like we do shouldn't only be able to have that.

I wish that I was over you, and that we had this amazing friendship. No, I wish that nothing was holding us back and that we could just be.
I wish a lot.
I miss you a lot.
I think the best thing for me to do is avoid you at all costs. I will no longer come on MSN hoping you will be there. Avoidance is the best way now. I can't live my life hoping something will happen. No more. I need to stop this now.

Oh Darling...

I'm tired. So incredibly exhausted. Let's not pretend anymore, ok? We can't try this again. You know it as well as I do.

To the guy who broke my heart, again,

Why did you even bother saying anything in the first place? Did breaking my heart once not satisfy you? You had to do it again?

I know you don't mean to hurt me like this, or at least I hope you don't, but really, you just couldn't help yourself could you, knowing I was weaker than you. You make me feel like it's my fault, but it's not!! You did this to me, you gave yourself back to me, took my heart and then crushed it just when I we might actually have a chance to be together. You never even gave it a go, how can you condemn this relationship before it's even started?!
I
will get over you this time, I'm going to force myself, I will NOT be messed around again, if you ever want to speak to me again you're gonna have to prove yourself to me. I will not be weak, I'm determined this time.

Why did you call me? It felt like you were just rubbing it in! You make me so angry, at least you gave me a reason to be annoyed this time. I don't believe you'll miss me, I believe you'll miss the attention, the ego boost, the company...not me.

I hope you're hurting as much as I am, I really do. You can't keep breaking my heart just to avoid getting yourself into deep water. You're a coward, you really are. You should have ended this properly ages ago and not given me false hope. You're selfish!
See how frustrated you've made me?! I don't want to hate you but you're making it so much easier!

I hate the fact that I let you break my heart, twice, and I HATE that fact that I still want you.
Goodbye. This time I really want to mean it.

Dear M

I can't get over our breakup. My life crumbled the day you ended it and I just can't pick up the pieces. I know we are supposed to be working on things,but I can no longer do this in your time-frame. If you wanted me there I would be there.I can't move forward while I am still hoping for a future with you.After we get back from our trip I am going to have to let go. My plan is to enjoy every second of the trip and your company. I am going to kiss you hug you ,put my hand on the back of your neck,I am going to do all of things I took for granted.When we say goodbye,it will be GOODBYE.
I will love you always,

Dear J

I sometimes have dreams where you kill yourself, and it's all my fault.

And

Even though I broke up with you,
Even though I don't love you,
Even though I hide in the bathroom when we cross paths,
Even though I am afraid of what you might do to me or the ones I love,
Even though I avoid any communication with you,

I don't want you to die.

Dear Zack Short

We all have regrets in life. My biggest regret is not opening your letters to me after you had broken my heart. Your brother eventually told me that She had lied and the baby wasn't even yours. I'm sure your letters would have mentioned that fact - but I couldn't open them. I carried each one around for weeks, unopened. I would hold them and look at your handwriting. But I had been so totally devastated when you broke it off with me that I couldn't bring myself to risk my heart again. I was too afraid of what those letters might contain. It's been 30 years. And still there is a part of me that has never, and probably will never forget you. I listen to the oldies station, and can't help but smile and think of you whenever I hear "Rubberband Man". Remember that? I really was just a child back then, young and foolish. But the years have proven that what I felt for you was real, genuine, true love.

I doubt you will read this. But maybe someone else will. Maybe they will tell you about it. If you do decide to find me, it really isn't difficult. You can even just "google" my name. I tried to google you, but it didn't help.

I hope life has been good to you. I wish I could have been...........

Dear Emily

PLEASE LEAVE MY BOYFRIEND ALONE. PLEASE.
I've waited for him while he's off with the Navy.
I've called him every night.
I've written the letters.
I've cried myself to sleep waiting for him to come home.
When he finally returns you expect him to hang around you.
You treat me like I'm a monster.
Please, I am in love with this man.
Please, stop making me feel like i'm doing something wrong.
Please stop texting him,
Leaving him all these messages.
Please.
Please.
Just give me a break.

Dear narcissistic cow

I'm not really sure what could possibly cause you to pick my ex-boyfriend that you went out with first that manipulated you, over me.

When you two were 'dating', no, I wouldn't even call it dating. Standing a courtyard holding hands ISN'T dating. When he 'broke up with you' I pretended to really care. But I didn't. He was an asshole and I hated him. When he asked me out for the billionth time, I dated him to make him shutup. The relationship lasted two weeks. He told me he loved me, and was a ridiculous, obsessive, narcisstic, skinny white boy trying to be like 50 Cent. The moment he told me he loved, all I could think about was 'What have I gotten myself into?' So I broke up with him.

Over myspace.
Because in my opinion, he didn't deserve the dignity of being broken up with in person.
Any guy that still uses 'lul' and 'omg' doesn't deserve to be broken up with in person.
Maybe shot, but they shouldn't have dignity.
He accused you of convincing me to break up with him.
And he hurt you. Again.

And then you decided that you were 'still in love with him'.
And I gave you an ultimatum: Him, or me.
You choose him.
Over one of your closest friends.
I heard from another one of your ex-boyfriends that you wanted to have sex with him.
After dating him for a week. You said he made you feel whole.
A guy that has manipulated you MANY times shouldn't make you feel whole.

You called me immature, and a bitch, and said how horrible I was for not giving your relationship with my ex-boyfriend a chance, but secretly, I'm glad that I didn't.

When he broke up with you again two weeks later; I was ecstatic.
Finally the bitch got what she deserved.

And in the end, I have my dignity, and you still wanted to have sex with him.

I don't know if you did.
I'm not really interested.

All I want is for you to feel the same kind of rejection that I felt when you picked him over me.

Dear Joel

It's been six years since we were eighteen years old, at college together. Amazing how time flies, isn't it? Just wanted to let you know I'm doing much better now. My hair grew back. I don't think you noticed, but it fell out shortly after I starved myself for those couple months trying to get you back. Anyway, it grew back nice and long. I'm actually fat now. Way fatter than I ever was when I was with you. When I look at pictures from our time together, I'm struck by how small I looked. But I wasn't small enough for you. That's okay, I understand. I just hope when you get married (if you aren't already),that your wife gets real big after she pops out a few of your babies.
If you're anything like your dad - real terrific guy, by the way,leaving your mom and dating an ugly 25 year old (dude, she was NASTY) - you'll follow suit and when your wife gets too old and fat, you'll probably leave her too.

But I digress. I'm doing real good, Joel. I'm doing just what I always dreamed of. You never thought I had any talent, but I'm on TV now. I doubt you have gigs five nights a week like I do. I got off the drugs I started taking after you dumped me. I can't excuse what I did, but seeing you was a knife in my heart and I wanted to stop feeling that pain. I just smoke pot now, and drink, nothing harder than that. Do you still drink? Did you ever smoke up with anyone else, or was I the first and only? And hey, when did you lose your virginity? I waited and waited and after I finally did it two years ago I wondered what all the fuss was about. What about you? Did you do it with that Asian girl you dated after me? Or did you finally get your perfect woman, your perfect skinny little Adrienne who you wanted so bad? She would make you wait to tie the knot before you could fuck her, so maybe you married her. I know I wasn't worth losing your virginity for, so who was?

Anyways, Joel, I just wanted to tell you that although you ruined my life, if you hadn't, I would never have dropped out of school to get away from you, so I never would have been in the right place at the right time to make my dreams come true. So thank you!

P.S. I still love you and I always will.

Dear Rich and Richard

I thought I would kill two birds with one stone.

One of you knows that you hurt me, lie to me, and break my heart into tiny pieces time after time.
The other one, you don't know your even doing it.

Rich, I have tried to care and trust you, but your just to damn stubborn and to damn horny to listen to anyone. I wish you would, even if it was with the girl you cheat on me with. I acctually think that she was playing you for the same thing you play me for. I wish you'd stop lying aswell, I can see straight through those lies of yours. Even though i want to believe them and I want to believe that your going to marry me and have my children and that we're going to name them cinderella if it's a girl. Yes Rich, I remember that. I'm sure you don't, but Im pretty sure you know how to hurt me and that you know your doing it.

Unlike the other Rich- AKA- Richard.

I don't think you know what your doing or how your doing it. But I sure as hell hope you stop and get your act together. You say you like me, well now your single why don't you do anything about it? Why do I have to make the first move. You know how I feel, you know i'd go all the way for you, yet you still drag me along. Now that's bull. I hope you sort it out, because Valentines day is soon, I just can't hold on for you anymore. It's a waste of my time and my emotions.